Meister

Goodbye Meister. I love you, and I will miss you.

Little kitty

I came home today, and Meister was laying on the couch. I'd left him inside for the day. When I sat beside him, he didn't move. When I touched him, his body felt lifeless. I got up and walked way. I thought he was dead.

I caught my breath and sat back down. He responded to my touch, slowly. I called then and made an appointment for the morning.

He's outside now laying on the porch, where he wants to be, and he is near his mother Mitzi. My two little Greykins. Reason being a Boykin, made them Greykins. I am finally sad for and about Meister and the loss of his life. My sadness isn't about me, or about Reason. My sadness is about his little exuberant life soon to be gone. He meowed so boisterously this morning when he greeted me at the door. His fluffy little head waiting for a good morning head rub.

We are all creatures. We live and die. We suffer and rejoice. I, nor anyone, can change that.


(Next morning...Meister woke up today sprite and bossy. Still not eating of course, but he was so full of his little self, it was clear that today isn't the day, so I called and canceled. Day by day, we take it, as long as he isn't in any pain.)

Knowing when

I have two elderly cats that I rescued when an old boyfriend walked away and left them 15 years ago. I know they are at least 17 or 18. The younger cat Meister is failing. He isn't in kidney failure, but has elevated enzymes. He has stopped eating. He isn't in pain, and he mostly sleeps, but sometimes he paces with a wobbly gait.

This has been a week of anxious thought, worrying for how I cared about Reason. I should have helped her sooner, and that thought is keeping me determined not to let little Meister cat languish. He still purrs softly when I hold him. He enjoys his head rubs.

I read about pet hospice when it was Reason's time, and I honestly thought I could let her pass on her own and that would allow her to prepare herself. Two weeks and she was still holding on. Why would I not let go sooner? Why would I be so selfish?

Happy Birthday Reason!

You will always be my Spring. I miss you. When the first blooms burst with joy, and I feel the cool breezes and gentle, warm sun on my face, I smile and feel you and all you gave me.

Not enough

Emmy Lou Harris wrote this song, Not Enough, after the loss of her dog Bonaparte. "When you love someone, life's not long enough."

I miss you Reason.

Three years ago today to the hour, Reason and I said goodbye. Her last two weeks were very hard for both of us. Neither of us wanted her to go.



I read some lines a while back in The Art of Racing in the Rain. A few paragraphs have been all I can bring myself to read so far, but it lies by my bedside ready for me when I am ready. The novel is written from the dog's point of view. Enzo was his name, and Denny was his human. Denny cared for Enzo as he became too old to care for himself. Denny gave Enzo permission to leave when he could see it was his time.

Enzo was thinking, "My life seems like it has been so long and so short at the same time. People ask of a will to live. They rarely speak of a will to die. Because people of afraid of death. Death is dark and unknown and frightening. But not for me. It is not the end."

My Dog Joy Reason

Check out my own personalized cover of the book Dog Joy!! That's Reason on the cover. (She is also on page 172.) You can upload a photo of your dog to a personalized cover as well. I have to say, little Rea looks at least as good as the real cover dog. =o) You can find the book at any book store. If you'd like to upload your own cover, visit The Bark. Nope, I don't receive any royalties. I just know how much we love our dogs and for all the ways we look to hold special memories in our hearts forever. I know I'm not the only one.